Thursday, September 22, 2016
Beis Din says "To do anything which will save the Aguna" - Even murder?
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
'Give me money, then you can talk to your daughter' Divorced women extorting money
A video showing an apparent extortion attempt by a divorced mother of her ex-husband was publicized on Tuesday by men’s rights activists looking to highlight what they call an overlooked phenomenon.
In the video, which shows a portion of a Skype chat between a divorced father and his young daughter, the man’s ex-wife cuts into the conversation, threatening to reduce contact between the man and his daughter unless he pays some unspecified amount of money.
“[If] you pay money, you will start to talk to her every [day] of the week. If you don’t, we won’t do more than twice a week.”
When the father told her to stop interrupting the conversation with his daughter, the mother responds “I’ll interrupt you as much as I like… you will speak nicely to me, I run things here in this house.” [...]
Ki Tavo 76 The Downside of an Attitude of Gratitude by Allan Katz
Our parasha talks about 2 commandments that required people to go to Jerusalem. A landowner was obligated to bring his first ripened fruits –' Bikkurim' to the temple and present them to God's representative, the Kohen-priest. This ritual included a moving declaration and expression of gratitude to God, for being a protector ……and having brought us to the land of Israel and having given us the land of Israel, a land flowing with milk and honey…….As the farmers made their way to Jerusalem, they were met by delegations from the various towns and cities who greeted them with praises and psalms to God. The procession was accompanied by music and plenty of happiness and joy. There is the obligation to separate tithes from food and give to the Levite and poor and also separate food –' ma'aser sheni ' for personal use – to be eaten in Jerusalem or be redeemed and the money spent on food in Jerusalem. The purpose of the mitzvah was to encourage people to visit Jerusalem and the temple and benefit from the learning, prayer and the spirituality of the city.
The Midrash commentary notes that the Torah begins with the word Be'reishit - in the beginning which can be also read – for the sake of the first. The world was created for the sake of the' firsts' – for the sake of the nation of Israel or the Torah that are called Reishit – first. Likewise the word was created for the sake of the mitzvah of the first crops – bikkurim. Gratitude is a trait that is fundamental to the sustainability of the world, central and vital to interpersonal relationships, our relationship with God (not that God needs our thanks) and our relationship with the physical world. Our lives and achievements are made possible by the contributions and help of so many people and primarily because of God's assistance and direction. In order to express gratitude we need to have humility. People showed gratitude and solidarity with the farmers by going out to greet them on their journey. In Jerusalem, people would include the Levite, the convert and poor in their celebration of gratitude. They would rejoice and make others happy. The Torah is making a connection between gratitude and happiness. An attitude of gratitude brings happiness, but true gratitude to God is not just the thank you and expression of gratitude but using the God given gifts to benefit others and inviting the less privileged to join in your celebration. True joy and happiness is a result from giving to the needy and making others happy. True gratitude demands both expression of thanks and action.
ושמחת בכל הטוב אשר נתן לך יהוה אלהיך ולביתך אתה והלוי והגר אשר בקרבך: עשיתי ככל אשר צויתני", שמחתי ושימחתי בו.
Gratitude is very much on the self-improvement, personal development scene because of the research done by Dr Emmons who studies the science of gratitude. Gratitude helps people counter negative thoughts and complaining. It puts an end to self-pity, jealousy, bitterness and regret. It leads to good health, a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, as well as more joy and pleasure. People who kept a gratitude journal for just 3 weeks measured 25% higher on life satisfaction. They exercised more, they drank less alcohol and their families and friends noticed that they are nicer to be around and the effect lasts several months beyond the initial 3 week trial period. The act of writing things down that you are grateful for will instantly change your mood. While expressing gratitude by writing a letter or communicating and interacting with people is a good thing to do in a moral sense, the new gratitude gurus are stressing the benefits for us and that gratitude makes us feel good. A lot of the advice and gratitude exercises suggested can be undertaken without human contact – thank someone mentally , keep gratitude journal, count your blessings, mediate and for those so inclined, pray. Consider this advice from a yoga instructor. “Cultivate your sense of gratitude by incorporating giving thanks into a personal morning ritual such as writing in a gratitude journal, repeating an affirmation or practicing a meditation. It could even be as simple as writing what you give thanks for on a sticky note and posting it on your mirror or computer. To help you establish a daily routine, create a ‘thankfulness’ reminder on your phone or computer to pop up every morning and prompt you.”
The author Barbara Ehrenreich sees this as the downside or selfishness of gratitude. Who is interacting here? ' You' and 'you'.' So it’s possible to achieve the recommended levels of gratitude without spending a penny or uttering a word. All you have to do is to generate, within yourself, the good feelings associated with gratitude, and then bask in its warm, comforting glow. If there is any loving involved in this, it is self-love, and the current hoopla around gratitude is a celebration of onanism.' She notes that the conservative leaning John Templeton Foundation , a foundation that promotes free-market capitalism, has been funding gratitude research of more than 8 million dollars, yet the foundation does not fund projects directly to improve the lives of poor individuals, but it has spent a great deal , through efforts like these , to improve their attitudes. '
Another problem with gratitude, particularly between people with different power and status – boss and employee, teacher, parent or child, is that gratitude - especially when 'praise' is also expressed - can be experienced as judgmental and controlling. Judgment even if positive is judgment. The person with power is grateful that his subordinate has jumped through his hoops. A Boss once expressed gratitude and praise to an employee for her work. She replied – please remember your words when you write me my pay- cheque at the end of the month. Instead better to focus on the deed and action and not on the person. Offer neutral feedback and ask questions so the employee speaks and reflects on what she did.
Barbara Ehrenreich suggests that we have a more vigorous and inclusive sort of gratitude, that for e.g. includes all the people that make our meals possible and taking action and expressing ' solidarity' with their demands for better pay and working conditions.
We see clearly from the mitzvoth of Bikkurim- first fruits and eating the Ma'aser Sheni – 2nd tithes in Jerusalem, that gratitude needs to be accompanied by pro-social actions and interactions between people. When gratitude is just an ' attitude' the focus is on the self and an expression of selfishness. It is based on the most primitive form of morality, do good because it feels good, and offer thanks and express gratitude because if you don't reciprocate people won't give you anything or help you. If we are grateful to God and thank Him, but don't act in the world as a partner and be of service to others, our praises and thanks take the form of sacrifices and offerings that God despises. True gratitude is emulating God's ways – והלכת ברכיו מה הוא חנון אף אתה תנון מה הוא רחום אתה רחום ..... - Just as God's is gracious, be gracious, just as God is compassionate, be compassionate, kind and generous etc., etc.
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Satmar rabbi, woman plotted to kidnap and kill husband who wouldn’t grant her a divorce
update THIRD MAN ARRESTED News 12
NY Daily News Time Magazine Justice Department announcement
Daily Beast - major summary
A prominent rabbi in the Satmar Jewish community of Kiryas Joel in Orange County plotted to kidnap and murder a man who was resisting a religious divorce from his wife, prosecutors said Wednesday.
Rabbi Aharon Goldberg of Israel, and Shimen Liebowitz, of Monroe, were arrested Tuesday on charges of conspiracy to commit kidnapping and conspiracy to commit murder for hire. In early July, Liebowitz and Goldberg contacted an individual to kidnap the husband and force him to give a get — a religious divorce — to his wife, the feds said.
The individual, who is cooperating with the feds, later learned that they didn’t just want to kidnap the husband — they planned to kill him as well, the feds said.[...]
“Over a period of months,” he said, they “met repeatedly to plan the kidnapping and to pay more than $55,000 to an individual they believed would carry it out.”[...]
Monday, September 19, 2016
Rav Chaim Kanievsky says to report molesters to police: We have come a long way!
מרן הגר"ח קנייבסקי הורה לעסקן: "תסגיר תוקף למשטרה"
אם עד לפני שנים תוקפי ילדים היו מטופלים "בתוך הקהילה" - הרי שהציבור החרדי עובר שינוי: "מרן שר התורה הורה לי להסגיר תוקף למשטרה", מספר עסקן חרדי מניו יורק ו"מרוצה מהשינוי" (חרדים)
כך נלחמים בארצות הברית בפגיעות בילדים: בחודשים האחרונים, לאחר שורת מקרים קשים שפורסמו ב"כיכר השבת", נושא הטיפול בפגיעות חמורות בילדים עלה לדיון במגזר החרדי - הן בטיפול בנפגעים, והן בטיפול בפוגעים. אלא שבעוד בישראל תשומת הלב הציבורית בנושא החלה לתפוס תאוצה בעיקר בשנה האחרונה, בארצות הברית ארגונים חרדים מובהקים שונים כבר פועלים בגלוי במשך שנים לטיפול בנושא.
כבר לפני מספר חודשים, ארגון יהודי חרדי-מובהק בשם "Jewish Community Watch" עורר סערה לאחר שהאשים בפומבי באתר האינטרנט של הארגון את אחד ממפיקי העל במוזיקה החסידית בארצות הברית בפגיעה חמורה בנערים צעירים. מאז, ממשיך הארגון במאמצים לחשיפת אנשים נוספים בקהילות המקומיות שסרחו ופוגעים בילדים.
אבל "Jewish Community Watch" לא לבד. בשנים האחרונות הוקם בארצות הברית ארגון נוסף בשם "עמודים". הארגון שנוסד במקור על מנת לסייע לצעירים וצעירות חרדים שנקלעו לבעיות נפשיות או התמכרו לסמים קשים, הבין מהר מאוד כי מרבית הבעיות הנפשיות והממדים המבהילים של ההתמכרויות לסמים קשים בקרב בני משפחות חרדיות בארצות הברית - מקורם על פי רוב בפגיעות חמורות שעברו הצעירים והצעירות ומעולם לא טופלו.
הארגון החל לקיים מספר הרצאות, בהן משתתפים רבנים חשובים בארצות הברית לצד אנשי מקצוע חרדים, ובהן מעלים לסדר היום את נושא הפגיעות החמורות ודרכי הטיפול. השבוע, נערכה הרצאה שכזאת בלבה של העיירה לייקווד, המכונה "בני ברק של ארצות הבר
מדובר במהפכה שקטה שכובשת את ארצות הברית. אם עד לפני שנים ספורות נהגו בקהילות היהודיות לטאטא את הבעיות החמורות מתחת לשטיח, כיום, מתוך המגזר החרדי ובכפוף להוראות של גדולי ישראל בארצות הברית, פועלים הגורמים כנגד התוקפים. גם רבנים מישראל מסייעים לארגונים בייעוץ ובהתייחסות לנושאים ההלכתיים הסבוכים הנוגעים לבעיות אלו.
צבי גלוק, מנהל 'עמודים', מספר על תמיכה גורפת של רבנים בניו יורק והתייעצות אינטנסיבית שהוא מקיים מול הרבנים בארצות הברית. למרות זאת, גלוק אומר בשיחה עם 'כיכר השבת' כי "במידה ואנחנו מגלים מקרה של תקיפה חמורה אנחנו פונים לרשויות, כך מורים לנו הרבנים, אין לנו צל של ספק, אנחנו מקשיבים לרבנים ומסגירים את התוקפים למשטר
Abuse in the Jewish Community - Amudim in Lakewood - Septermber 11, 2016
Tzvi Gluck - director of Amudim wrote:
I have to admit that when we first started Amudim three years ago, I found myself wondering just what kind of response we would get from the Jewish community. The issues we were tackling were extremely sensitive in nature and typically weren't talked about, but we all knew deep down inside that we had no choice but to bring these topics up in public to safeguard our most precious resource, our children
To have been invited to Lakewood by the Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Malkiel Kotler Shlit"a, was indeed a humbling experience. Over 1,000 people came to hear the words of our daas Torah, Rav Elya Brudny, speak about the importance of addressing abuse head on, and to listen to Dr. Akiva Perlman and Rabbi Dr. Zev Brown discuss the dangers facing our children and how to formulate strategies to protect them.
Since the event, which was seen live by 15,000 remote viewers, our office has been inundated with calls, more than 400 in all. Some have contacted us just to say thank you, while others have requested audio downloads, video links or materials to help them discuss these matters with their kids. 50 of those calls were about sexual abuse, resulting in 20 new cases opened this week alone
The need is still great, and while it is rewarding to see that people are ready and willing to listen to the message that we have been tasked with sharing, I look forward to the day when our community will be so well attuned to the dangers of abuse that actual cases will be few and far between.
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Sanhedria Murchevet Satanic Ring hysteria: A ‘Memory Hacker’ Explains How to Plant False Memories in People’s Minds
Implanting a false memory, it turns out, is alarmingly easy to do.
Shaw, a Canadian now living in London, was in Toronto to promote her new book, The Memory Illusion. In it, she describes how false memories can be deliberately placed in people’s brains—leading to false police confessions that could send the wrong person to jail, or detailed accounts of alien abductions that (almost certainly) never happened.
“A memory is a network of brain cells,” Shaw explained to me. That network, which stretches across different regions of the brain, is constantly being updated. It’s an important function that allows us humans to learn new things and to problem-solve, among other skills. But as a result, it “can be manipulated,” she continued. “Each time you tell a story, you change the memory,” maybe dropping in new details, weaving in tidbits you really heard from somebody else, or forging new, and possibly inaccurate or misleading, connections.
For example: If you think you remember anything before you were about two-and-a-half years old, Shaw said, that’s a false memory. (Before then, our brains aren’t developed enough to store memories, a phenomenon called childhood or infantile amnesia.) A memory from earlier that “was either given to you through photos, you saw a picture, or maybe your parents told you a story,” she explained. “You can internalize them quite readily.”
The fact that memories are so changeable has important implications for, among other things, the criminal justice system, Shaw pointed out—and that’s the focus of much of her work. “In the lab, I convince people through memory hacking that they committed crimes that never happened,” said Shaw, senior lecturer and researcher in the Department of Law and Social Sciences at London South Bank University. “I do it to show that the interrogation process can really distort memories, in consistent ways.”
To implant a false memory, “you try to get someone to confuse their imagination with their memory,” she said. “That’s it: Get them to repeatedly picture it happening.”
She’ll start off by letting them know they committed a crime, and then claim to have insider information. For example: “Your parents told me that, when you were 14, you stole something, and the police were involved,” she said, adding that she’ll say she called the parents, and give details of their talk, “and then you believe me. You know I contacted your parents, and you trust them,” she continued. That gives her credibility.
She’ll keep going and layer in detail—the person’s age, hometown, the name of their childhood best friend, and get them to repeatedly imagine the crime happening, over and over again, even if they never did it. Over the course of a couple of weeks, maybe even a shorter timespan than that, “it gets harder to decipher imagination, versus a memory coming back,” Shaw said. “By the end, it’s easy to think, this actually happened.” [...]
New developments concerning the murder of Daniel Markel - defense attorney for Martin Wolmark of the Mendel Epstein Get Gang
In newly released documents, the Tallahassee Police Department laid out its case for why two of Dan Markel’s in-laws should be considered prime suspects in his slaying.
But State Attorney Willie Meggs has dismissed the probable cause affidavits as “speculation” and refused to issue a warrant for their arrest.
The documents maintain the family of Markel’s ex-wife Wendi Adelson tried to convince her to offer him $1 million to allow their children to move to South Florida after their acrimonious divorce. Documents also say investigators focused on her brother Charlie Adelson, who police say looked into hiring a hit man the summer before Markel was killed.
The probable cause affidavits became public Thursday after a records request by the Tallahassee Democrat. They included affidavits drafted by TPD and sent to Meggs’ office for everyone police believe was a suspect in the killing of Markel, including Charlie Adelson and his his ex-wife’s mother, Donna Adelson.
The family has denied any involvement in Markel’s slaying, calling investigators’ theories “fanciful fiction.” No members of the Adelson family have been arrested.
Sigfredo Garcia and Luis Rivera are scheduled to stand trial this fall on charges they shot the Florida State law professor in the head in his Betton Hills garage on July 18, 2014.[...]
Tallahassee Democrat describes tension between the police and prosecuters in the case
Un-served probable cause for Charlie Adelson by KarlEtters on Scribd
Friday, September 16, 2016
Historic milestone: Beginning of reconcilliation of Litvaks and Gerrer Chassidim after 8 years
המנצחים והמפסידים: מאחורי הקלעים של פסגת השלום ההיסטורית
לאחר כשמונה שנים של נתק בין מנהיג הציבור הליטאי למנהיג חסידות גור, הגיע הערב הגראי"ל שטיינמן לחתונת גור והביא לפיוס היסטורי. "בחדרי חרדים" משרטט את המהלכים מאחורי הקלעים שהביאו למפגש הפסגה, איך זה ישפיע על הזירה הפוליטית ומי המפסידים הגדולים מהמהלך
דרמה היסטורית והתרגשות הערב בירושלים. לאחר כמעט שמונה שנים של נתק בין מנהיגי היהדות החרדית, ראש הישיבה הגראי"ל שטיינמן הפתיע והגיע הערב (שלישי) לחתונת נכד כ"ק האדמו"ר מגור ובכך שם סוף לנתק הממושך שהיה בין גדולי הדור.
דבר הגעתו של ראש הישיבה לחתונת נכד האדמו"ר מגור נשמר בחשאיות רבה, ומלבד אי אלו שמועות שצפו בתקופה האחרונה - רק הערב, מעט לאחר השעה 19:20 – הידיעה על בואו של הגראי"ל החלה להתפשט כאש בשדה קוצים.
ואכן, סמוך לשעה 20:00 בערב, נכנס ראש הישיבה לאולם השמחה של חסידות גור, לקול שירת האלפים שהרעידו את האולם. מיד עם בואו - האדמו"ר מגור קם על רגליו כשהוא מכבד את ראש הישיבה לשבת בסמוך אליו. תוך כדי שירת האלפים האדירה, לחץ ראש הישיבה את ידו של שר הבריאות יעקב ליצמן.
ל"בחדרי חרדים" נודע כי המהלך החל כבר אתמול כאשר בנו של הרבי מגור הגיע למעונו של הרב שטיינמן ברחוב חזון איש 5 בבני ברק והזמינו לחתונה. כאמור, דבר הגעתו של הרב שטיינמן לשמחה נשמר בחשאיות, ורק סמוך לכניסתו לאולם הדבר פורסם.
בגור נערכו להגעת הגראי"ל שטיינמן, מחסומים נפרסו ודרך מיוחדת נפתחה לרכב עד לתוך בית המדרש ממש, מרחק צעדים מהבמה. האדמו"ר מגור יצא לקראתו למדרגות של הבמה וסידר מקום לצידו.
ראש הישיבה שהה בשמחה כ-20 דקות, במהלכן אף נעמד, על 103 שנות חייו, ורקד יחד עם האדמו"ר, יד ביד. ל"בחדרי חרדים" נודע כי לאחר מכן הגיע ראש הישיבה אל בית חתנו הגאון רבי דב שפירא בעזרת תורה בירושלים, שם התפלל תפילת ערבית.[...]
He sexually abused her as a child. She became a police officer and hunted him down.
It began when she was 8 years old.
She became a cop. And in 2014, more than 15 years after the abuse, she arranged a meeting with him and secretly recorded their conversation.[...]
On that two-hour tape, he described to her, in detail, what he did to her. He blames her for it. He tells her she wouldn’t understand because she doesn’t possess male genitalia. He praises himself by saying that at least, “I kept you a virgin, didn’t I?”
Most importantly, he confessed. Over and over and over again.
Because of that, he’ll spend life in prison, a jury recently decided.[...]
A few years ago, the officer decided to begin attending therapy. She learned that her issues likely stemmed from the abuse Chaisson heaped upon her from the ages of 8 to 12 — more than 15 years ago. At first, he would rub and scratch her back, cuddling with the child. Then he made a habit of climbing into her bed at night, as she tried to sleep.[...]
Through therapy, Doe realized she needed to confront this painful past. And she had a pretty good idea of how she could do it — after all, she had just been trained as a police officer.
“I’ve always, always wanted to be a detective,” she told the Daily Beast. “I was fresh out of the academy. It was kind of, ‘If he’s going to talk, he’s going to talk’ — how do I prove it?”
Added Doe, “I thought to myself: I’m the difference between him and prison.”
Doe decided it was her responsibility to put this predator away for good while facing her own past — two birds with one stone.
“My job is in law enforcement,” she told the Waco Tribune-Herald. “I’m held to a higher standard. I just want to protect people, and how can I do that if I can’t even protect myself?” [...]
As for the detective, she told the Daily Beast it feels like “a weight lifting over my shoulders.”
“I no longer have to hide the secret or bear the responsibility of it.”
Ki Seitzei; Who Is In Control Of A Jewish Marriage by Rabbi Shlomo Pollak
Guest post by Rabbi Shlomo Pollak
We know that only the husband, has the ability to write and give a 'Get'. He doesn't need a Get from his wife, and מעיקר הדין he can even give it to her, against her will...
Is this fair? Is this just?? Is this דרכיה דרכי נועם??....
For questions and comments please email us at salmahshleima@gmail.com
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